wish you were here

When I was a little girl, and sometimes even now, I would lose my compass and tilt ever so slightly until my shoulder drooped and bumped against the person standing beside me. As a child, it was often my sister whom I fell into. She'd forgive me, give me a shove or a budge, and we'd be okay, she and I. I berated her, negated her, envied her, pittied her, pinched, hugged, winked, poked, brushed, loved, charmed, swarmed, hit, bit, lept with, crept with, rolled, bowled, and scolded her. We dreamed a thousand dreams out loud on our backs in the darkness with our eyes wide open and our lives soaring clumsily with the nightbugs above our heads. I could love her and hate her and she'd be my big sister just the same. She gave me skater boys to hang with, Zepplin and Pink Floyd to roll with, and fireflies to light the world....

Copyright © 2011. Carrie Ellen Campbell. All Rights Reserved. http://carriellencampbell.blogspot.com. Please respect Carrie's intellectual property. Sharing blog posts is permitted, but no part of this material may be copied, downloaded, reproduced, or printed without express written consent. Contact Carrie at: carrieellencampbell@icloud.com.

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The Shepherd

“Damned coyotes.” Clifton Ellis followed the blood trail from the sheep shed with no hope of finding the stolen lamb. The ewe bleated, unconsoled. In a terrified frenzy, she’d trampled the lamb’s twin during the coyotes’ last visit. Now, she was alone within the flock.

why I write (from November 2011)

If you haven’t felt it for yourself, I’m not sure that you can fully understand. Its presence is not unlike a sixth sense. An unexplained yet apparent awareness of things that simply occurs, sometimes. It’s like that, in the sense that it is temporary, fleeting, and impossible to predict. But, it is also more than that. If you’ve never felt it, you might relate if I connect it to the feeling that comes with seeing someone whom you love…unexpectedly, across the room. You glance, and there that person is. Did you feel it? That leap? That flutter? That momentary discombobulation and uneasiness until your mind has time to process that this occurrence is in fact welcome and in fact good. That, that is the feeling, in part. And then there is something else. This is where I fear I may lose you, but it is this which motivates my fingers on these keys. Let’s see. Have you ever pondered something…just considered, ‘what if?’ long enough to let your heart believe for a seco...

Mydentity Crisis

“All we are, we are.” Matt Nathanson Internal conflict: a struggle inside one’s self involving thoughts, feelings, or emotions. Or all of the above. External conflict: a struggle between one and an outside force. So what is it if you feel at conflict with the world itself? Exhale. That’s hyperbole. I don’t know the whole world, and some people actually like me, so that statement isn’t actually true at all, but feelings don’t care much about truth, do they? Sometimes my feelings feel separate from me. Separate from my mind, my rational mind. My mind that is driven by something even deeper than rational thought…my intrinsic mind—my subconscious primeval self that says, “You will ensure that your young survive. You will supply food, shelter, security. You will bare your teeth to protect your children. To protect your family.” These parts, the inside or outside of my conscious self, the motherfighterwarriorproviderstandupandbiteorscreamifyoumust and the loveexplodeserruptsseep...

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